Thursday, September 11, 2008

dinosaurios and the flood of "ugh"

So I'm back home again.

Touched down about 8pm last night. Black night sky, lots of orange lights. Whew. I love runways. Thank you God for being on the ground.

Then I realized where I was. Bienvenido al Jose Joaquin de Olmedo International Airport, GUAYAQUIL. I wish I could describe for you the feelings that rushed over me in that moment. My "life" was really just twenty minutes away.

As I stared out the little window as we taxied to the gate, it was definitely a mix of emotions that swept over...Ahh. So nice to back, it's all going to feel so familiar again..., gee I'm tired, but thank you God for bringing me back here...

But what surprised me, and I write this tonight because I've thought quite a bit about it today (once I woke up at noon!) and talked about it a lot with Nikki...what surprised me, was the flood of "ugh" that I felt at the same time.

Just this "ugh", and I don't really know how to describe it to you. It was kinda like heaviness that distracted me from the excitement. I tried to push it away, but it kept sweeping through the peace of those moments, as I sat still safely inside the stuffy plane.

Whoa, am I ready? Its all going to begin again...deep breaths.

I don't think that "ugh" is good.

In fact, I've spent most of the last 12 hours thinking about how to take the "ugh" out of life here...or at least how to NOT let the "ugh" leak back in.

At this point I am hopeful, and I am SO glad for this frest start. Nikki and I have some ideas about how to help each other, and TOGETHER keep the "ugh" out.

I'm sorry to be so vague. I will write more, I even promise.

But I want to attach a picture and go to be early. Nikki and I went out together for a while this afternoon, and upon returning, there was a knock on the door.

Two cute little brown faces came around the corner smiling back at me (they had knocked and run away). Jhonny and Eddison had come to visit, and they seemed to welcome my hugs as if it hadn't been long since we had seen each other last... The kids talked a lot, which was nice. They talked about buying crates of beer (must have been with their dad), and about their dog that died (at their home in 'la sierra')...all of it with the cutest accents ever, of course. I tried to ask Jhonny about school, but didn't get too far with that. We played with some dinosaur magnets that I had brought from Canada, and read a Curious George book.

I just especially enjoyed holding them on my lap.

Edy could have used a very soapy bath... but dinosaurs and Jorge el Curioso were far more important tonight.

Goodnight Guayaquil, goodnight.


Jeannette said...

Praying for you and the "ugh" and a covering over your home!
Bless you, glad you made it there safely!

Bobbi said...


I'm so glad you had a good time back in Canada and am happy to hear you made it back safely. I think everybody goes through the "ugh" thing...if you find out what causes it/how to cure it, let me know. :)

I would love to get a newsletter from you! Let me know what info you need in order to get it to me.

In regards to posting pictures of camp here, I'm not sure if I can because of privacy policies, but I'll see what I can do. :)

Be blessed!

Laura (aka's my camp name!)

Anonymous said...

I can not believe this, is it a new post from you >Janna, o alguien lo escribio.
jeje, bueno verte de regreso..

ZooMuse said...

Hi Janna, from the Open Gate; just wanted to share a lesson Debbie and I learned after we returned to Kenya following our first furlough, our "ugh" experience. Within days of our return to Nairobi, we wanted to run away or, better yet, fly away. Had we tickets, we likely would have flown screaming into the night. Everything that was new and adventurous and different when we had arrived the first time was, this time, just "ugh." or, rather, UGH!!!

After a few days of this, we sat together and (literally cried and cried out). In those moments, God pulled back the veil. We were, simply put, we were under attack by the enemy, the lion who devours. We acknowledged this, rejected his purposes, and cried out for God's help. In that moment, everything changed. We walked through our home doing some spiritual "spring cleaning," praying through every room and over our kids. It was no the "silver bullet" for everything, but it sure made the difference at that moment in time. Soon after, our ministry went in unexpected and exciting new directions. Am praying for between the lines.